Risking it all (conclusion)

I didn’t realize how loud skydiving was till we started falling. It’s 45 seconds of yelling, if you want to talk. I had so much to do, I didn’t have time to worry. Roll out on three, arch your back, raise your arms, wrap your legs around the instructor behind you, watch your altimeter and pull the chute at 6000 feet. Simple.

You are so high up there is no sense of eminent danger. The ground is far away and it would feel like slow motion if it weren’t for the air rushing by at 120 mph. After 45 seconds and about 6000 feet of falling I got the tap on the shoulder to pull the chute. A little jerking around and then it was peaceful and calm. The rest of the ride was simply a scenic tour of the area till the smooth landing. That was it. I wanted the jump to be more exciting. Maybe a tangled chute or a faulty cord. Nope. Just smooth sailing. I have had more exhilarating God experiences.

I’m not afraid right now. I have no job and even better, what I feel God calling me to does not have any foreseeable financial viability in the near future, but I’m not afraid. People keep asking me if I am excited. Yes, but I don’t feel it much. It’s kind of like the sensation I had falling out of the airplane. There is so much to think about and do, that I just focused on the task. God has everything taken care of so I am not worried. I have a lot of work to do, but the fear is not there.

I am a little disappointed that it isn’t more exciting. I guess fighting a dragon instead of filling out IRS forms would be fun, but such is life. I am feeling the anticipation of seeing something come together and watching the details fall into place for what I have dreamed of is fulfilling. The excitement will come when we see our first effort realized. When we see people being impacted and lives changed, then the thrill will be there. Until then, I plug away at building the foundation for making it happen.

Am I risking it all? Absolutely. Does it feel like everything is on the line? Not right now. Our bills are all paid. We have a roof over our heads. My jump instructor (another metaphor for God that I am not completely comfortable with) has given me complete confidence in his ability to guide me to safety. In some ways I feel like I am just along for the ride. But it’s a ride worth taking. I recommend you try it sometime. The view is amazing.