Breaking the Silence
When it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop, it's too quiet for me. I have to either have a fan running in my room at night, or I have to turn on my sound machine and listen to fake waves crashing, to get to sleep. Maybe it comes from my early days of childhood sleeping at the race track every Saturday night, while my dad worked on a stock car team. Maybe I'm just afraid of the voices in my head. Regardless, silence is not something I enjoy.
So, while I was working on my computer tonight, playing music loudly over the sound of the house fan sucking out the stale hot air in the house, I heard the still, quiet voice of God remind me that he still enjoys my company. It was totally unexpected, absolutely unannounced and so wholly unnerving, that I lost it completely. I didn't know how to respond. I sat sobbing into my shirt, hoping my kids didn't walk in. With the skill of a thoracic surgeon, he cut a hole straight to my heart and snuck in. Didn't see that comin'.
I look for God moments everyday. I seek out opportunities to see God and speak God into places unexpected. I try to bring him into daily life and every relationship, but I forget about the one relationship he desires most. Mine and his.
After 33 years of walking with him, I too often neglect to walk with him in the quite places. You know those places. The ones where no one else is invited, so there will be no interruptions. Where there is more silence that words and what few words do flow, are like drops of rain on a desert flower. I miss those times, when I stop long enough to let them be missed. Tonight he broke the loudness with silence, and he was in it.
So tonight, I am breaking my silence with his. It's been a year and half since I last wrote. Too long to not be writing. Too long to not be listening. Too long to not be longing for more of him. I am choosing to return to the quiet places.
Ok, enough talking. I'm gonna hold my breath and shut everything off and see what I hear. If I write another post in the next few hours, then I didn't listen long enough. Let's see how long I last.
I'm gonna go now. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it.
So, while I was working on my computer tonight, playing music loudly over the sound of the house fan sucking out the stale hot air in the house, I heard the still, quiet voice of God remind me that he still enjoys my company. It was totally unexpected, absolutely unannounced and so wholly unnerving, that I lost it completely. I didn't know how to respond. I sat sobbing into my shirt, hoping my kids didn't walk in. With the skill of a thoracic surgeon, he cut a hole straight to my heart and snuck in. Didn't see that comin'.
I look for God moments everyday. I seek out opportunities to see God and speak God into places unexpected. I try to bring him into daily life and every relationship, but I forget about the one relationship he desires most. Mine and his.
After 33 years of walking with him, I too often neglect to walk with him in the quite places. You know those places. The ones where no one else is invited, so there will be no interruptions. Where there is more silence that words and what few words do flow, are like drops of rain on a desert flower. I miss those times, when I stop long enough to let them be missed. Tonight he broke the loudness with silence, and he was in it.
So tonight, I am breaking my silence with his. It's been a year and half since I last wrote. Too long to not be writing. Too long to not be listening. Too long to not be longing for more of him. I am choosing to return to the quiet places.
Ok, enough talking. I'm gonna hold my breath and shut everything off and see what I hear. If I write another post in the next few hours, then I didn't listen long enough. Let's see how long I last.
I'm gonna go now. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it.
posted by Spiritual Traveler at 10:09 PM
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