Church Discipline: the Key to Church Growth?: WTF!

Crap, am I killing church growth for cussing? Oh shit…ugh I mean Oh crap…um I mean Oh fiddle sticks.

You have got to be kidding me. I am not joking with the title. Well, the actual title of the conference, (yes, a conference) is: Church Discipline: the Missing Key to True Church Growth. Check it out for yourself.

Somebody please sound off on this and tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that this is an extremely presumptuous church.

I am all for proclaiming the gospel of God which results in lives transformed into the image of Christ. Such lives reflect lifestyles characterized by progressive sanctification or movement toward holy living.

But, do we really think disciplining people for falling short of that standard will bring about growth in the church? I thought it was God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. See Romans 2:4.

I am tired of the church thinking they are God’s gift to the world. I passed a church on Sunday that had a huge, and size matters here, banner that said, “We are holding a seat for you.” As if the world is banging on the door, screaming to get in. They are not the Mervyn’s lady. Our job is to go into the world, not expect the world to come to us.

God is the gift to the world. We are the ones to share it with them. I am not opposed to church discipline, but let’s start with examining the leaders of the church first. There is such a lack of accountability there. If holiness comes from above, then let’s start at the top. When we can trust our leaders again, then we may have something to offer the world.

Jeeze, I think someone hit a nerve. Oh crap, is jeeze a cuss word? I guess I better go punish myself. Wait, is that masochism? Is masochism a sin? Dang, I did it again. I think Britney and I are both screwed up?...I’ll stop now.

"non-vocational" ministry

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about the church, culture and the future. Not that there is any relevance or connection of those three topics.

Anyway, our conversation gravitated toward the lack of young people entering seminary and the efforts of schools to get next generation students to attend. I said that it was a waste of time and he exclaimed that they would have to close down the schools if attendance did not increase.

Well, first off, if there are no students, then by all means, close the school. Why perpetuate an institution that serves no purpose. Secondly, the reason that they are having a difficult time is due to the recent scandals involving church leaders, the present stated of the economy and the overall distrust of pastors. Why would anyone want to go into ministry in these times? Lastly, the institution of the church is changing and has a rough future ahead. Who would want to go into such a questionable future?

That being said, I don’t believe it’s time to close the doors. There is plenty of need for well trained individuals to lead the body of Christ. Where we have to change our way of thinking is in regards to a term that I have used for years to describe what I do. I tell people I am in full time “vocational ministry.”

It’s a funny term. I would love to tell people that I am in full time “non-vocational” ministry. That would raise some eyebrows.

The truth is that the “church” is filled with people doing non-vocational ministry. How come only the pastor gets paid if all of the gifts are essential? Why do the elders volunteer their leadership, but the church staff are compensated for theirs?

I am sure you could argue why that is so, but there is no reason it couldn’t be different. What if everyone volunteered on Sunday morning and in all of the ministries throughout the week? What if churches we comprised of people who all served and then the money was used to meet real needs? Could such an idealistic concept work? I would love to find out.

The Terrifying Spiral of Doom

Sounds like a ride at Magic Mountain, but it’s something a lot closer to us all than we care to acknowledge.

Have you ever seen Larry-Boy and the Fib from Outer Space? The guys at Big Idea got this one right with a Veggie Tales story of a lie that just keeps getting bigger and spins out of control. Well the other day, I had a similar experience, but it wasn’t a lie, rather something I did wrong and what I did to try to “fix” it.

Let me explain. On New Years Eve, we were having friends over for a celebration and my wife was getting her hair done (no, this has nothing to do with her hair) and I was getting the house ready. I knew she was going to do a lot of cooking so I was trying to put stuff in order.

Our mixer does not fit on our kitchen counter because it is too tall to fit under the decorative scallops beneath the cabinets. But if you cut out a section of the scallops, it will fit. You can see where I am going with this. So I did it. I didn’t call Donna. I didn’t wait till she got home. I just did it. My bad. I got impulsive and I acted.

It’s not that I don’t have the right to make changes my kitchen, but how hard would it have been to wait and check with Donna first. I was a dork.

Well, what started out as a mistake quickly escalated to defensiveness. The spiral was growing. I realized that I should have waited so I tried to figure out how make it not-so-bad. I slid the mixer into place and pretended nothing happened and figured if she didn’t see it then I would be able to justify my actions.

She didn’t notice all day. She cooked an entire meal, spending 5 hours in the kitchen and never saw it. I now had fuel for my fire.

The next day we were making breakfast and I heard Donna say, in a lout voice, “what?” I was busted. I explained the situation and used the previous day to justify my actions, but it didn’t work. No duh Sherlock. What was I thinking?

It didn’t get any better the next day and I started to get mad. Donna questioned why I would rather ask forgiveness than permission and I told her I didn’t do it to hurt her. I felt attacked so I took it to an even higher level of defense. The spiral was now a whirling funnel of destruction.

They always say a good defense is a better offence. Well, that isn’t the case in relationships. I started getting offensive. I brought up times when she did things without asking permission. Wrong move! Not because she got mad, but because it’s the wrong thing to do.

What started out as a stupid mistake got turned, by me, into a character attack. I don’t like when I get defensive. It’s ugly.

We decided to table the discussion till we could spend a chunk of time processing through it. With four children home for the holidays and a boyfriend and exchange student in the house as well, it was hard to find time to talk.

On Sunday we went out to eat and we laid it all out. It was hard to see the progression of events, but I was able to observe how I spun out of control and had to admit that I blew it. Donna saw where she misinterpreted my initial actions and we were able to restore the relational connection.

I hate being wrong. It hurts to know that there are things I need to change. But I don’t want to be complacent with areas of my life where I need to grow. Scripture says that faithful are the wounds of a friend. Donna is my best friend. What she says hurts sometimes. Not because she is mean, but because she loves me.

Life is hard. Make sure you have someone you trust along with you for the journey. I am not the same person I was 25 years ago when I met Donna. She makes me a better man. And by God’s grace, we are both better people day by day.

Will I get caught in the terrifying spiral of doom in the future? Unfortunately, probably. But I hope, by God’s grace, I will be able to see it sooner and maybe even squelch it before it raises its ugly head. Life is process and journey. Sometime you do things wrong and stray off the path. That’s why we have friends. We need each other, everyday.