Things you never want to hear

After you've fallen off your bike and face planted in the asphalt, you don't want to hear someone say, "is your nose supposed to look like that?". While your vacuuming under the couch and you feel a thump in the vacuum line, you don't want to hear your child ask, "have you seen my gerbil?

I got a call the other day from a neighbor of one of the houses that my office manages that is vacant. We have had homeless people trespass before and the neighbor was calling to let me know there was someone on the property.

So I'm inspecting the house for a possible intruder and I walk up to a playhouse in the backyard and I hear a noise. I can see a beach towel hanging in the open doorway and there is space below for me to see in. What I see is slightly disturbing.

A exposed foot, then thigh, then buttock of a man is visible and I'm thinking, "great, I got a naked homeless guy to deal with." Well, if it were just that, it would have been a lot easier. "Is someone there?," I blurt out with a little reservation. What I heard next left me wishing I never showed up. "We're not wearing any clothes."

I'm sorry, but my job did not include a clause for dealing with naked people trespassing. Fixing broken windows, changing locks, posting signs; those are the things I am paid to do. Naked people are not in the job description.

So I told them they would have to get dressed and leave immediately. And then it got even worse. A young woman emerged with her top on inside out and backward. She apologized and explained that she was 21 and that her parents did not approve of her sleeping with her boyfriend before they were married. I told her that they had to find somewhere else and she apologized again. As we were talking, her boyfriend quickly exited the playhouse and got in their car and left with her.

As I reentered the house, I found his wallet left behind and then the ultimate "now that is really wrong" thing happened. His drivers license showed his age as 57. No wonder the her mom disapproved.

Now as a pastor, I have had to deal with a lot of crazy things, but as a property inspector, I have to say, this one tops them all.

If you have a better story, let me hear it. I need something to change the picture in my head.

Family Time

When I was a kid, I used to look forward to Sunday nights. It was Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and The Wonderful World of Disney. As I got older, it was The Walton’s. Our family would curl up on the couch and enjoy some family fun. We all looked forward to it.

My family has a similar night. It’s Monday night. Only we watch shows about mutant heros and homeland security involving a computer geek. Our shows are a bit more violent and a lot more twisted. Am I a bad dad?

My Cherry Tree

I almost told a lie the other day.

My work had asked me to do something and I completely forgot. When one of my co-workers called me and asked about it, we both realized that we forgot and it was suggested that I make something up so we both wouldn't get in trouble. It would have been an easy cover up.

The problem I faced was not that I didn't want to get caught, but that I didn't want it to come back on the company I work for. If it were found out, it could jeopardize our reputation. I didn't want to take that chance just to cover up my bad.

I ended up calling my boss and telling the truth, only to find out that my boss took some of the blame and said that it wasn't that important. Go figure.

Telling the truth doesn't always conclude with an easy ending, but it sure beats the alternative. I guess George Washington is an example to us all.

A Resolute Community

As I pedal my eliptical, arms swaying in harmony, I an't help but notice that Bally's is a little more crowded this first Monday of the year. And I thought I was the only person with new resolutions. I guess I'm glad I'm not alone. Good luck to all.

Written from the Blackberry again. It's a good way to distract my mind from the extreme pain of working out...NOT!

"Stingray" Resurrected

I have made some new unexpected friends in recent weeks. A Palestinian, a former gang banger, a woman who runs a halfway house for ex-cons and recently divorced trucker. None of them know each other and I am their only common link. All of them have been in dire straights recently and I met them during these times.

There used to be a show in the mid 80's called "Stingray," where a guy used to help people in trouble by calling in favors from people he had helped in the past. I feel like my new friends are those kind of people. And all I have done was be nice to them during difficult circumstances.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all just treated people with respect instead of using them for our own gain. People matter. I think I have heard that before. Oh wait, I think I blogged about it in the past. Funny how some things never change.

The Scenic Route?

Whenever someone says, "let's take the scenic route," you know that means that it's going to be the long way. The scenic route is never the short cut. By nature, the short cut is the ugly, brief path.

God never takes the short cuts. By nature, He is a scenic route kind of God. So, by plan, He takes His time. All throughout scripture, God goes the long way.

Sometime ago, God invited me to something different and only after several years am I beginning to realize that it was His intention to take me on the "scenic" route. And though I use the term "scenic" loosely, I see the value of Him taking His sweet time getting me there.

So as I sit and listen to "We Know That You Are God" by All Together Separate, I am choosing to see the forest through the trees and to stop and smell the flowers along the way. Slow me down Lord, slow me down. I don't want to miss a thing.

To Blackberry or not to Blackberry

I'm not sure if my Blackberry is a curse or a blessing. It frees me up, but it keeps work too close. And, of course, this was written from my Blackberry.

Too many ideas, so little follow through

If I implemented 10% of the ideas I have in my head, I'd likely have way to many things to do. Maybe that's what holds me back. I need to figure out a way to sell my ideas. Can you make money selling ideas? You probably can if you develop enough of them to get peoples attention.

I enjoy new beginnings. Mondays, mornings and New Years are especially fun for me. So the first Monday morning of the New Year should be my favorite day. Who knows what it will bring.

Maybe I will try one of my new ideas. Maybe I'll shake things up a little. I guess we will just have to see.

Far too long between posts

I have decided to make some New Years resolutions. I don't usually do them, but I thought I would try something different. You know what they say about insanity. Well, I'm not doing the same thing anymore.

My first resolution is to eat less and exercise more. One serving of food and 4 times a week to the gym or equivalent workout at home. I gotta lose another 20 pounds around the waist.

Secondly, I want to start tithing again. After leaving the church and starting something different, I convinced myself that my tithe was my service to God. Though I give myself some grace for the last year, I think it's time to give to what I believe in.

Next, I am going to write more. Rather than a few long blog entries, I want to do a daily journal of my year of living dangerously. And when I say dangerously, I mean trying something new and beyond the norm.

So while I sit here feverishly typing this post in the early hours of the new year, I am going to quickly save and post it before I change my mind. Here's to New Years resolutions and living on the edge. The edge of insanity, that is. Tee hee.

What a difference a day makes. (or in my case a year) PART 2

Following God isn’t always popular. Following God in directions that are not traditional, evangelical or American is down right offensive to most Christians. God is not mainstream; never has been, never will be. When I chose to leave the mainstream, I left the only thing I have known for 35 years. But, you couldn’t pay me to go back. I have never been closer to God than I am right now.

It’s odd that I am closer to God, but farther from the “church.” That is not meant to be a commentary, only a statement of truth. The body of Christ that I feel connected to also feels disconnected from its traditional roots.

I recently was talking with a friend who was relaying a situation he encountered the other day. He was talking to a friend, who had left a high level job in a well known megachurch, to start a care ministry. In the process, he began getting interest from a gathering of people who wanted to find a place they could worship. As my friend told me the names of the people who were interested in gathering, my eyes grew wider and wider. These were prominent Christian authors who have recently felt displaced from the evangelical church and no longer called it “home.” When the architects of modern Christianity are not fitting in anymore, there is a problem.

It’s time for a change and it didn’t begin with me, but I’m making the change. It took me a year to clear out the old garbage and now it’s time to let God recreate me. Anyone up for a change? Don’t think it will be easy or fun. It’s painful and slow, but like most things of value, the effort is worth it. The shine on my wide eyed optimism is a little dulled and the sparkle in my vision is slightly faded, but my steadfast resolve to passionately follow God is stronger than ever.

What a difference a year makes.

What a difference a day makes. (or in my case a year)

After a year of having the wind knocked out of me and my feet kicked out from underneath me, I think I can actually breathe again and stand up straight. It’s amazing to think that it was a year ago that I left a comfortable job with a secure income to pursue a dream that from all indications completely failed, but was one of the best things I have ever done.

We all want to be successful and the American dream is built on the notion that anyone can succeed, but how we measure success is askew.

From the worlds viewpoint, emersionlife is a failure. It never got big, hasn’t expanded, isn’t self sustaining and failed to accomplished a lofty goal.

From God’s perspective, we did exactly what He asked. We followed Him, we increased in our love for Him, we grew in our love for others and we became what He intended.

Sometimes you have to leave where you have been before you can see who you are. Sometimes you have to clear out the old habits and ways of thinking and let go of the preconceptions in order to embrace your true self. There are even times when you have to release your dreams, expectations and desires to see the truer picture of what it is you were created for.

(to be continued...)

We can all breathe a little easier.

I recently applied for a position with the AQMD (Air Quality Management District) in their PR department. At the time I applied, I was interested because it involved PR work, which I enjoy and it aligned with our mission to leave the world in better condition than when we found it.

As I did more research into the organization I was struck with how little I knew and how much they did. Did you know that the AQMD manages a area equal to almost half the population of our state in 15% of its size? That’s a lot of people in a small area which makes sense for why we need the AQMD to regulate and inform people about pollution.

In a recent news story, the AQMD was reported to be considering new standards for regulating the construction of wood burning fireplaces. I remember hearing the story and getting miffed at the AQMD for limiting such a wonderful and environmentally "friendly" home feature. Little did I know that the 1.4 million homes with wood burning hearths, mine included, put out four times more pollution than all of the power plants in the region. You learn something new everyday. And the plan they have to clean up the air only affects new homes or remodeled fireplaces. So it's not like they are killing the beauty of a warm fire. They are just trying to keep too many of them from killing us.

What really impressed me about the agency was their mission statement.

The South Coast AQMD believes that all who live or work in this area have a right to breathe clean air. AQMD is committed to undertaking all necessary steps to protect public health from air pollution, with sensitivity to the impacts of its actions on the community and businesses. This is accomplished through a comprehensive program of planning, regulation, compliance assistance, enforcement, monitoring, technology advancement, and public education.

I was particularly struck by the line, “…undertaking all necessary steps…with sensitivity to the impacts…” It’s about balance.

We are all painfully aware of watchdog organizations. We applaud them when they take action on things we don’t like, but we also complain the loudest when they do things that limit our “freedoms.” Well, the AQMD has a tough job and I, for one, feel obliged to become more aware of how they are protecting my lungs and eyes and the same for future generations. Because of them, we all can breathe a little easier.

People hurt. The problem that needs an answer.

A few months back I wrote, “People matter. The answer to the question.” I believe that statement whole heartedly and yet when you involve your heart in people, you better be prepared to get stomped on at times.

Today I wanted to write, “People hurt. The problem that needs an answer.”

I suck at English grammar. I wish I studied it better in school. I failed my first year of Greek because I was so bad in English. I don’t understand the rules. When I say, “People hurt.” I want it to be a play on usage. I don’t know if it’s that I want it to be both passive and active or what, but when you read it, it can say, “People are in a state of pain,” or it can say, “People can cause pain to others.” Somebody with grammatical expertise, tell me what it is called in both usages. Please.

Sometimes I think people hurt others because they are hurting. It’s not an excuse, but a reality. Like a dog that bites the hand of the person trying to dress its wounds.

But we are not dogs and we should know better to welcome the comfort of others. Do you ever wonder why people are so afraid of finding the source of pain? I have been in plenty of counseling over the years and it still surprises me how many people cast a negative eye on therapy. People, if your relationships are broken, get help. If you can’t figure out why you are stuck in a rut, get help. Not everyone was equipped, growing up, with the tools to deal with all of life’s situations. We can all use some outside help now and then.

I’m tired of getting my hand bitten by individuals that hurt. My heart bears the scars of many a wounded soul and I fear my scars will calcify my heart toward injured people. “Lord, keep my heart soft.”

I am in relationship with people because they matter. Sometimes it gets a little prickly and even sore. But I believe people need people to heal. And I believe people need God to heal. And the only way I know to bring both of these necessary elements together is to bring God’s presence in us to the table. It takes vulnerability and risk and occasionally pain, but I believe that when God and humanity come together in the context of brokenness, something divine takes place. Healing. It’s the answer to the problem. We all need healing. I just wish more people realized that they needed it. Maybe if we were more open about our own healing, it might encourage others to seek the help they need. We are not the cure, but we can all be part of the process.

I hurt right now, but it’s ok. God is healing the wound. I just don’t want my hurt to hurt others in the process.

Church Discipline: the Key to Church Growth?: WTF!

Crap, am I killing church growth for cussing? Oh shit…ugh I mean Oh crap…um I mean Oh fiddle sticks.

You have got to be kidding me. I am not joking with the title. Well, the actual title of the conference, (yes, a conference) is: Church Discipline: the Missing Key to True Church Growth. Check it out for yourself.

Somebody please sound off on this and tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that this is an extremely presumptuous church.

I am all for proclaiming the gospel of God which results in lives transformed into the image of Christ. Such lives reflect lifestyles characterized by progressive sanctification or movement toward holy living.

But, do we really think disciplining people for falling short of that standard will bring about growth in the church? I thought it was God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. See Romans 2:4.

I am tired of the church thinking they are God’s gift to the world. I passed a church on Sunday that had a huge, and size matters here, banner that said, “We are holding a seat for you.” As if the world is banging on the door, screaming to get in. They are not the Mervyn’s lady. Our job is to go into the world, not expect the world to come to us.

God is the gift to the world. We are the ones to share it with them. I am not opposed to church discipline, but let’s start with examining the leaders of the church first. There is such a lack of accountability there. If holiness comes from above, then let’s start at the top. When we can trust our leaders again, then we may have something to offer the world.

Jeeze, I think someone hit a nerve. Oh crap, is jeeze a cuss word? I guess I better go punish myself. Wait, is that masochism? Is masochism a sin? Dang, I did it again. I think Britney and I are both screwed up?...I’ll stop now.

"non-vocational" ministry

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about the church, culture and the future. Not that there is any relevance or connection of those three topics.

Anyway, our conversation gravitated toward the lack of young people entering seminary and the efforts of schools to get next generation students to attend. I said that it was a waste of time and he exclaimed that they would have to close down the schools if attendance did not increase.

Well, first off, if there are no students, then by all means, close the school. Why perpetuate an institution that serves no purpose. Secondly, the reason that they are having a difficult time is due to the recent scandals involving church leaders, the present stated of the economy and the overall distrust of pastors. Why would anyone want to go into ministry in these times? Lastly, the institution of the church is changing and has a rough future ahead. Who would want to go into such a questionable future?

That being said, I don’t believe it’s time to close the doors. There is plenty of need for well trained individuals to lead the body of Christ. Where we have to change our way of thinking is in regards to a term that I have used for years to describe what I do. I tell people I am in full time “vocational ministry.”

It’s a funny term. I would love to tell people that I am in full time “non-vocational” ministry. That would raise some eyebrows.

The truth is that the “church” is filled with people doing non-vocational ministry. How come only the pastor gets paid if all of the gifts are essential? Why do the elders volunteer their leadership, but the church staff are compensated for theirs?

I am sure you could argue why that is so, but there is no reason it couldn’t be different. What if everyone volunteered on Sunday morning and in all of the ministries throughout the week? What if churches we comprised of people who all served and then the money was used to meet real needs? Could such an idealistic concept work? I would love to find out.

The Terrifying Spiral of Doom

Sounds like a ride at Magic Mountain, but it’s something a lot closer to us all than we care to acknowledge.

Have you ever seen Larry-Boy and the Fib from Outer Space? The guys at Big Idea got this one right with a Veggie Tales story of a lie that just keeps getting bigger and spins out of control. Well the other day, I had a similar experience, but it wasn’t a lie, rather something I did wrong and what I did to try to “fix” it.

Let me explain. On New Years Eve, we were having friends over for a celebration and my wife was getting her hair done (no, this has nothing to do with her hair) and I was getting the house ready. I knew she was going to do a lot of cooking so I was trying to put stuff in order.

Our mixer does not fit on our kitchen counter because it is too tall to fit under the decorative scallops beneath the cabinets. But if you cut out a section of the scallops, it will fit. You can see where I am going with this. So I did it. I didn’t call Donna. I didn’t wait till she got home. I just did it. My bad. I got impulsive and I acted.

It’s not that I don’t have the right to make changes my kitchen, but how hard would it have been to wait and check with Donna first. I was a dork.

Well, what started out as a mistake quickly escalated to defensiveness. The spiral was growing. I realized that I should have waited so I tried to figure out how make it not-so-bad. I slid the mixer into place and pretended nothing happened and figured if she didn’t see it then I would be able to justify my actions.

She didn’t notice all day. She cooked an entire meal, spending 5 hours in the kitchen and never saw it. I now had fuel for my fire.

The next day we were making breakfast and I heard Donna say, in a lout voice, “what?” I was busted. I explained the situation and used the previous day to justify my actions, but it didn’t work. No duh Sherlock. What was I thinking?

It didn’t get any better the next day and I started to get mad. Donna questioned why I would rather ask forgiveness than permission and I told her I didn’t do it to hurt her. I felt attacked so I took it to an even higher level of defense. The spiral was now a whirling funnel of destruction.

They always say a good defense is a better offence. Well, that isn’t the case in relationships. I started getting offensive. I brought up times when she did things without asking permission. Wrong move! Not because she got mad, but because it’s the wrong thing to do.

What started out as a stupid mistake got turned, by me, into a character attack. I don’t like when I get defensive. It’s ugly.

We decided to table the discussion till we could spend a chunk of time processing through it. With four children home for the holidays and a boyfriend and exchange student in the house as well, it was hard to find time to talk.

On Sunday we went out to eat and we laid it all out. It was hard to see the progression of events, but I was able to observe how I spun out of control and had to admit that I blew it. Donna saw where she misinterpreted my initial actions and we were able to restore the relational connection.

I hate being wrong. It hurts to know that there are things I need to change. But I don’t want to be complacent with areas of my life where I need to grow. Scripture says that faithful are the wounds of a friend. Donna is my best friend. What she says hurts sometimes. Not because she is mean, but because she loves me.

Life is hard. Make sure you have someone you trust along with you for the journey. I am not the same person I was 25 years ago when I met Donna. She makes me a better man. And by God’s grace, we are both better people day by day.

Will I get caught in the terrifying spiral of doom in the future? Unfortunately, probably. But I hope, by God’s grace, I will be able to see it sooner and maybe even squelch it before it raises its ugly head. Life is process and journey. Sometime you do things wrong and stray off the path. That’s why we have friends. We need each other, everyday.

How many licks does it take...

Can you finish the question? If you grew up in the 70’s and 80’s you would remember this commercial. If you completed the question with, “…to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” then you answered correctly.

If you want to see the classic commercial and read the scientific studies, go to the Tootsie Roll site for more.

The reason I brought all of this up is that I just got back from a men’s retreat a week ago and I had to ask myself a very similar question. How many months does it take for God to get Jim to the end of himself?

Apparently, seven.

Seven months to strip him of everything he considers as a strength of his; his creativity, his ability to provide for his family, his self reliance, his talent for fixing things, his job, his self worth. It takes seven months to clean him out and lay him bare. Seven months and a gut wrenching men’s retreat that helped him face his inadequacies head on.

To fully understand the depth of the above paragraph, one must to go back to the men’s retreat and see what took place.

On Saturday night toward the end of the retreat, we did an exercise where we roll played significant failures in our lives. As if that weren’t bad enough, it was done in a way that exponentially amplified each of them simultaneously. Needless to say, I became completely overwhelmed and emotionally crushed. As I sat sobbing my guts out having come face to face with reality, I discovered that apart from Christ, I can do nothing. Forty four years of experience, education and training and I can’t do it. I thought I could do marriage, parenting, ministry and friendships. I fail at all of them.

So I am sitting there wrenching over my imperfections and feeling like a complete failure and the leader of the retreat comes up and gives me a big hug. And I loose it even more. I didn’t feel particularly huggable at the time. I was feeling less than a man at a men’s retreat.

After about 15 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing, it finally began to subside to a few quick inhales every couple of seconds. You know the type. Small children do it after they have had a good cry, usually after a discipline.

As I sat there, snot dripping from my nose and my eyes stinging from salty tears and rubbing, I here God speak as clearly as if He were standing right behind me. As if He weren’t? He said, “You are Peter, the Rock, and upon this rock I will build my church.”

My first thought was, “WTF?” followed by thoughts of mental instability for hearing it. After a long pause, I decided to venture out and ask a question. “Are you saying you are changing my name to Peter?” Long pause. “No.” Oh good, cause I really don’t like the name for me. I don’t feel like a Peter; a Dick, sometimes, but not a Peter.

“So, if I’m not Peter, what are you trying to say?” I thought it; I guess I had to ask. I sure as heck didn’t feel like a Rock either. I felt more like a puddle of a man; a soggy ghost of masculinity. Take a rock, pulverize it, mix it with water and I resembled that muddy mess. God could not have been talking to me in that moment when He said those things.

When I stopped telling God that He was talking to the wrong guy and shut up, He was happy to fill in the gaps. “Now that you have come to the end of your resources, now that you have nothing to lean on, now that you realize that you can’t do it…Now I have something to work with. Where you are at right now is exactly the kind of ground I can build my church on. Your life was too unstable with you standing. I needed you flat; foundations are horizontal, not vertical.”

Really long pause. Confused look. Wide open mouth. Great big, “ooohhh.” And then frustration.

It took God seven months to say that. Couldn’t He have said it seven months ago, even six? Long pause. We both knew the answer to that question. I wasn’t waiting for Him, He was waiting for me. Damn, I hate it when He’s right.

This isn’t the first time He’s brought me here…and it won’t be the last. Crap! But it’s right where he wants me to be; completely dependent on Him…for everything. Sometimes I feel like Eric Liddell. “God made me fast for a purpose.” I know He equipped me well. My problem is that I tend to try to do it on my own. I focus on the “me fast” rather than the “God made.” God’s resources are not meant for us to use on our own, but in His power.

Seven months seems like an eternity when it seems like there is no progress. It’s just a moment for God.

It takes, on average, anywhere from 144 to 411 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. I am sure that it can take anywhere from months to years for us to come to our end to find God. I am hoping beyond hope that the lesser is true for any future lessons God wants to teach me. In the mean time, I am getting a Tootsie Pop to put in my office as a remembrance alert. Maybe I’ll get two so I can have my Tootsie and eat it too.

Not Easier, But Better

A friend of mine called yesterday because he’s struggling in his marriage. They have been married for 10 years and he misses his independence. He shared about his frustrations with his wife (some of it legitimate) and his lack of freedom.

“I think it would be easier and I would be happier if I was single.”

I can’t argue with that. There is a lot of truth in the statement. Paul, the Apostle, said it’s better to be single than married. Wedding another person determines your availability to others. It sets your priorities. It fills your schedule and empties your pocket book.

You have to learn to compromise, cooperate and live in community in its most intimate sense. You have to put your spouse’s needs before your own and you have to love them above anyone and anything on earth.

Marriage in neither for the faint of heart nor the self consumed. It is the hardest contractual agreement one can enter into and it is a disaster waiting to happen before the words, “I do” are even uttered. That being said, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Sure, life might be easier, but I wouldn’t be better off single.

The greatest lessons in life I have learned in my marriage. My understanding of real love has come from matrimony. I value others because I have learned about relationship by being in community with someone through tragedy and triumph over an extended period of time.

It’s not easy, but then again neither is climbing a mountain to see a Colorado sunset. It’s not easy writing a song or painting a picture, but the end result makes the process worth it.

I have the fortune of being married to an amazing woman in a relationship that others only envy. But it has come with a price. 22 years of hard work and continuous daily maintenance. I live with my best friend, sleep with the most beautiful female on the planet and I get a front row seat to watch the life of the Godliest person I know. And they are all the same person; my wife.

What we have, we have because of the grace of God and a lot of hard work. Luck, fortune and chance have nothing to do with it. We didn’t fall into a good marriage, we climbed into it.

That being said, not every marriage works; some last 20 years, some 20 days. But, barring abuse and mental problems, I believe any marriage can succeed if both people are willing to work at it, but it is a choice; a hard choice, but a choice ripe with reward for those who choose to make a go at it. I am no expert, just someone who has experienced the good and bad of marriage. And I’m not only a spokesperson for it; I’m a beneficiary of it as well. (I sound like the president of the Hair Club for Men).

Can you tell I have too much time on my hands today?

Actually I am just catching up. I had a couple of these articles already written, I just haven't had time to post lately. Anyway, read on.

Billboards for Jesus

So I’m working out at the gym, trying to loose my ‘love handles”, and I see a guy I know from my kids school. He’s an athlete and his kids can kick my kids butt any day of the week. I have no problem admitting it. It’s true.

Anyway, we strike up a conversation, while doing leg lifts, about exercise and getting into shape and he says, “we need to be good billboards for Jesus.” I almost threw up in my mouth.

I’m sorry, well, no I’m not, but I don’t work out to “look good for Jesus.” I know a lot of ugly people that are great “billboards for Christ.” Jesus himself was not anything to look at according to scripture. It is funny how we want to make him handsome and white.

Now I will agree that a dirty homeless man yelling in a drunken stupor that Jesus is coming soon is not the best advertisement for the Gospel, but I sure don’t subscribe to the notion that if we had more “beautiful” people as Christians, then we would get more people to accept Christ.

This world is full of beautiful screwed up people. We need real people who are genuinely in love with Jesus who reflect that love relationship to others. His comment made me want to go back to pigging out and get a beer belly just to be ornery. But that wouldn’t be very Christ-like. Damn.

In our weakness, He is strong. I am holy because He is holy. We love because He first loved us. Anything that is good in me is because Jesus did it. Not by might, not by power, but by His Spirit. The Good News is that Jesus changes us on the inside. I sure as heck didn’t get better looking when I accepted Christ.

If I am to truly reflect Christ, it will not be because I have a great body, not that I wouldn’t mind having one. The image of God in me will come when I loose myself, deny myself and die to myself and find myself in Him. Only then will He truly show through and my “billboard” will shine bright. And I’m thinking the bigger I am (Hello Twinkies) the brighter I will shine. Anyone want to go witnessing at Krispy Kreme?

Risking it all (postscript) - ok I thought I was done

I guess in all honesty I need to tell the whole story. See, I forgot something while I was getting ready to jump. I thought a lot about how I would react in different situations. I thought about what it would be like. I even though about writing out the adventure it after it was over. The one thing I didn’t think about was that I sometimes get motion sickness. Truthfully, rollercoaster’s, riding in the back seat and ships at sea make me really sick. I haven’t gotten sick on a plane for several years, but it happens. So you think I would have thought about it at some point, but no, not me. At least not until we rolled out of the plane.

As I rolled out of the plane I could feel my stomach do a summersault and totally remind me that I get motion sick. It wasn’t too bad at first. I just kept breathing deep and enjoying the view.

After the chute deployed it got a little stronger. I think the sudden change of speed got me, but it was when we made a quick turn that I knew that I was not going to make it to the landing before my milk and cookies were going to resurface.

I calmly told the instructor that I was going to throw up and I made sure that I did it straight down so it wouldn’t get on him. I’ve never thrown up while moving fast in mid air.

I wasn’t as much humiliated as I was bummed that the camera man cut out the barfing footage and pictures. I thought it would have been great. “Brave Bozo Barfs Big” or “Perky Pastor Pukes Pistachios while Parachuting” would have been the title of my video. It’s the story of my life. More comical than heroic. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I might have divine bravery, but I have a human stomach.

I just hope the parallels of skydiving and my leap of faith don’t completely coincide or I may see my lunch coming back up real soon. Wait a second…I’m feeling a little queasy. I’ll be right back. J

If you want to see me during the free fall, go to http://www.realxstream.com?XStreamID=86883&Vid=1

I do have a picture with chunks all over my shirt, but I thought posting it may be a little tacky. Anyone interested in seeing it can email me. I wear my colors with pride.

Risking it all (conclusion)

I didn’t realize how loud skydiving was till we started falling. It’s 45 seconds of yelling, if you want to talk. I had so much to do, I didn’t have time to worry. Roll out on three, arch your back, raise your arms, wrap your legs around the instructor behind you, watch your altimeter and pull the chute at 6000 feet. Simple.

You are so high up there is no sense of eminent danger. The ground is far away and it would feel like slow motion if it weren’t for the air rushing by at 120 mph. After 45 seconds and about 6000 feet of falling I got the tap on the shoulder to pull the chute. A little jerking around and then it was peaceful and calm. The rest of the ride was simply a scenic tour of the area till the smooth landing. That was it. I wanted the jump to be more exciting. Maybe a tangled chute or a faulty cord. Nope. Just smooth sailing. I have had more exhilarating God experiences.

I’m not afraid right now. I have no job and even better, what I feel God calling me to does not have any foreseeable financial viability in the near future, but I’m not afraid. People keep asking me if I am excited. Yes, but I don’t feel it much. It’s kind of like the sensation I had falling out of the airplane. There is so much to think about and do, that I just focused on the task. God has everything taken care of so I am not worried. I have a lot of work to do, but the fear is not there.

I am a little disappointed that it isn’t more exciting. I guess fighting a dragon instead of filling out IRS forms would be fun, but such is life. I am feeling the anticipation of seeing something come together and watching the details fall into place for what I have dreamed of is fulfilling. The excitement will come when we see our first effort realized. When we see people being impacted and lives changed, then the thrill will be there. Until then, I plug away at building the foundation for making it happen.

Am I risking it all? Absolutely. Does it feel like everything is on the line? Not right now. Our bills are all paid. We have a roof over our heads. My jump instructor (another metaphor for God that I am not completely comfortable with) has given me complete confidence in his ability to guide me to safety. In some ways I feel like I am just along for the ride. But it’s a ride worth taking. I recommend you try it sometime. The view is amazing.

Risking it all (part 3)

A friend of mine and I went skydiving a few weeks ago. I thought it was apropos for my life right now. I feel like I have jumped and I am waiting for God to pull the cord.

I fully expected to get an adrenaline rush from the experience. Most people that I talked to thought I was crazy for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. And it makes sense. But I wanted to do it, so I did. But my experience was not at all what I thought it would be.

When we arrived, you could feel the excitement/tension in the others we were going to jump with. There were six of us total in our group. We had to fill out a bunch of paperwork releasing liability for the company providing the skydiving experience, then we had to make a videotaped statement stating that we agreed to everything we signed. If that doesn’t make you a little worried, I don’t know what will, but it didn’t bother me.

Then we had to go into a room and watch a video of the creator of the tandem suits we were going to use explain the features and risks of such a dive. He said that even the best equipment can fail and skydiving was inherently dangerous, but to have fun. Yeah right. Again, I was fine.

We then went to get trained on how to exit the plane using a cut away fuselage. “Back arched, arms out like you’re making a muscle, neck back, legs out, knees bent. Simple enough, but they stressed it several time, so you know it’s important. It’s not the most natural position in the world, but I guess it’s important when you are flying through the air at 120 mph. I’m like speed, so that didn’t bother me either.

Before final suit up, we went over the safety features of the chute. Main chute, secondary chute, release chord and automated back up release should you and your instructor fail to pull the chord in time. It seemed very sturdy and safe.

My instructor was a veteran. He was Air Force with over 1600 jumps. He was calm, methodical and thorough. He made sure I was comfortable and walked me through every step of the jump from exit to landing. I had nothing to worry about. Literally.

Now some of you are saying, “yeah right. How can you not be afraid of jumping out of an airplane at 12,500 ft. How can your heart not race standing on the edge of an open door of a plane flying 100 miles an hour? Well, the truth is I was not scared at all. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun. I had a blast, but it was not scary. It wasn’t scary because I had nothing to fear. The plane was flight worthy, the gear was up to par, the instructor was better than competent and the jump was well planned. I was just along for the ride.

We scooted to the edge of the plane, paused at the open door as we peered at the horizon and then out we rolled. (to be continued...)

Risking it all (part 2)

The phrase, “what would Jesus do” resonates in my head right now. As much as I think the now slogan has been way over commercialized, I have to go back to what is true. It’s not about what I think should happen or how I think the response should be. The bottom line in God’s economy is always the same. It’s always about relationship and rarely about time. Scripture is rich with stories who’s consummation happens years, decades and even generations later.

But I want it now. I want it neat. I want to have things wrapped up in an episode or an hour and a half, which ever comes first. And not the cliff hanger ending either. “24” is fun to watch on screen, but in life we want closure a lot sooner that 24 weeks.

“God, am I asking too much?”

“Jim…am I?

I hate it when He does that. I recently saw the movie, “In the Land of Women.” In it Meg Ryan’s character always has to get the last word in. God’s like Meg Ryan. (Did I just compare the almighty God to a blonde, Hollywood actress? I hope I don't go to hell for that.)

The funny thing is I have always said that I want to be, first and foremost, a God follower. Anyone that knows me knows that this is my dying creed. So when God said, “step” I did. He has asked me to step in the past and I have. But each time it has been steps into something. Into a job or into a ministry or even a relationship. It was always somewhere, someone or something. This step was different. This was the step of a Lewis and Clark or Captain James T. Kirk. It wasn’t to a destination, but rather a journey. God was inviting me into eternal time and into divine adventure. He lovingly removed the safety glass and asked me to risk it all.

Now it’s the moment of truth. Will I stand or will I run? Following into the known is standing behind the protective barrier to danger. Following into the unknown is more dangerous.

Risking it all (part 1)

I have faced a lion from 5 feet, growled at a bear that was spitting distance away and looked a shark in the eye. Some would call it courage, others stupidity, but I call it bravery in the face of danger. In the moment, you never know what you are going to do till you get there. You can plan for it, prepare for it, even visualize yourself in the moment, but until you face the situation head on, there is no telling how you will react. I felt proud to stand strong in each of those cases.

That being said, it’s a lot easier to face the king of beasts, the wild black bear and the menacing blue shark from behind protective glass. It‘s kind of surreal knowing that, given other circumstances, I would probably be a light meal for these creatures. “Bravery” flows freely in safety. Risk is always measured by the danger faced.

I recently quit my job to pursue a vision. The vision was something God gave me; something like the promise to Abraham of descendents “greater than the stars in the heavens” or Kevin Costner’s “if you build it, they will come.” The problem is, like Abraham, I don’t know what the promise means yet. He had no children and no potential for having any. And even when God gave him a son, the promise would not be fulfilled for generations.

That’s the problem with much of our theology today. We want God’s promises now. We don’t have an understanding of the workings of the eternal clock. We know what Texas time is and the significance of a New York minute, but God doesn’t work that way. His clock is not set by the precision of a quartz movement or the dependability of Greenwich time either.

I thought I would have answers right after I quit. His words to me were, “take the step first, and then I will show you.” Now, I don’t know about you, but when someone asks me to do something, and then say they will do their part, I expect an immediate response. Silly me for expecting God to respond in like manner. I mean, come on, aren’t we created in the image of God. Shouldn’t He operate like we do? (long pause) No, I think it’s the other way around. We are supposed to be more like Him.

Divine Humanity

The words, divine humanity, sound new age and conjure up images of self actualized individuals who where sari's or kurta's and burn incense. But I think it is something that was originally intended for mankind from creation but lost somewhere in the fall. Over time the image was tainted and corrupted till man's attempts at replicating it became poor imitations of the original.

It has gotten so bad that society has rejected its spiritual heritage. Read the quote below.

“I say that those who reject religion are right because the contemporary state of religion calls for rejection, because our religion is not what it ought to be.”

Sound like the state of affairs today? It's from a book by Vladimir Solovyov called, "Lectures on Divine Humanity." Most readers will not recognize the name, but you may recognize two people that were impacted by the author’s lectures, Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. It was Tolstoy’s book, “The Kingdom of God is Within You,” that influenced Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.

The amazing thing about these lectures is that they were given in 1781. I guess there really is nothing new under the sun. Religion is going to hell in a hand basket while mankind is left in the gap and we are left picking up the pieces.

I am getting a tattoo on my right arm that says “B2W.” It stands for “between two worlds,” and displays an angelic wing on the right, a flaming wing on the left, a vision of heaven at the top and roots stretching below.

This is my life. Somewhere between good and evil, between heaven and earth, I reside. Not only human, and not fully divine, the life of a “God follower” (which is tattooed on my right arm) hangs in the balance, not between the equally opposing forces of Yin and Yang, but between the world we were created for and the world we were created in.

It is a tension that we were meant to wrestle with, immerse ourselves in and eventually embrace. All of creation hangs in this state of potential energy.

Jesus was human divinity. We are divine humanity. All man, part God, we are the mutants who are misunderstood by mankind and not fully realized in ourselves.

I am not talking about the self actualized sari clad incense burners, but those who completely surrender to God, wholly given over to His direction and acceptance of who they were created to be.

That’s the life I want. That’s the life I need. That’s the life I am risking it all for. Divine humanity. Living like eternity starts here and now. I don’t want to wait till Heaven to live in God’s presence. God created me human for a reason. Why not experience it to the fullest.

People Matter

The answer to the question.

The Problem with Moral Fences

The Problem with Moral Fences

I was sitting in staff meeting the other day and the senior pastor handed out a copy of the letter that Ted Haggard wrote to his former church apologizing for his moral failure. It was a sobering communication of guilt and shame. There was also a letter from Ted’s wife to the congregation that was text book evangelical, complete with a commitment to Ted, “till death do us part” and a challenge to follow her example.

After we discussed the letters, the senior pastor distributed a paper by another leader on moral fences and one more communiqué from a prominent mega-church pastor on maintaining moral purity. They were the typical lists of do’s and don’ts that everyone spouts about cross gender interactions and appropriate behavior.

The funny thing was that in Ted Haggards case, he did not violate the “rules” because they are all about opposite sex. Beyond that, most of the lists deal with married staff and in fact, one list specifically said that the rules of cross gender interactions only applied to married people. As if single people are not tempted sexually. Give me a break. So much of what is being addressed is appearance and perception.

The problem with rules and standards is that they only deal with the symptom and not the problem. And just like cold medicine, rules only mask the symptoms, but do not cure the disease. It’s time we started looking at the disease and what contributes to it.

As a former addict, I know that fences can be jumped and crawled under without ever moving them out of place. Rules can be followed to the letter and you can still “get away” wrong behavior. In fact, fences can become a challenge and a game to people who are bound by them.

The solution is not more rules. God himself said that the Ten Commandments were established to show us that we cannot do it on our own and that we all break the rules. The evangelical church puts so much weight on obedience and yet the moral failure rate continues to increase. Samuel nailed Saul in 1 Samuel 15 for going through the motions and missing the heart of the issue. And David, I am sure reflecting on that defining moment in history wrote in Psalm 51:16-17 “Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice. (The Message) Saul went through the motions to prepare for battle, but missed the heart of God…and lost his kingship. He lost relationship with his God and his people. He was thinking only of himself.

Whole, healthy relationships are the solution to the problem; first with God and then with people. We need vital, passionate connection with God, independent of ministry. And we need the same with people. People in healthy relationship with others don’t think only of themselves. Love is about being in relationship and putting others first. It’s about staying connected and in harmony with all of the vital relationships in your life; God, spouse, children, friends, co-workers, congregation, body of Christ. That means balancing the time spent in each of those relationships as well.

In our deacons meeting that night, we had the same discussion and at the end when we were praying for moral protection for the staff, one of the deacons prayed that the staff would stay busy with the ministry so they would not get into trouble. I know his heart was right, but that is part of the problem. Pastors get so busy with “the ministry” that they loose connection with God and people. Both areas of relationship begin to sag. Too much time with the people you serve causes resentment, which leads to relations division and the spiral begins.

I have told my leadership team that if they see anything in my behavior that looks like I am pulling back from relationship, to call me on it. I also have a responsibility to look at my own life and confess it if I see it. But I first have to be in relationship with these people so that they know what relational separation looks like, before they can call it. The same is true with my wife, my children and all of my relationships, God being foremost. I am passionate for God. When I start to feel selfish or undervalued, I can always see somewhere where I am not communicating well with the people around me or to God. Relational wholeness means putting others first and making your needs known as well. We need love also and when we don’t receive it, we begin to separate relationally to avoid the pain.

Relational division is the root of all evil, not money. It caused Adam to eat forbidden fruit. It made David commit adultery. It causes churches to crumble. We were never meant to live independent. We were created for community; intimate community. Until we stop pursuing mega empires and start developing genuine connections with people, we will continue to be stunned by yet another prominent “fall from grace.”

Will healthier relationships eradicate moral failure? Absolutely not! We are all imperfect and we all sin. But maybe we will stop putting people up on a precarious pedestal, destined for failure and start loving people into wholeness through genuine relationship with God and each other. Restoring to grace should always follow living by grace. Remember, its Gods kindness that leads us to repentance. (Rom 2:4)

Love doesn’t get us into trouble. Lust does. Fences cannot cage lust. It is an untamable bull. A caged angry beast is a recipe for disaster. But take that beast and show him genuine love and relationship through honest communication and vulnerability and you can set him free. Paul said, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free.” (Gal 5:1). Why return to slavery? Why put the yoke back on?

Show me a pastor, involved in healthy relationships, enjoying time with God, his family and others and I will show you a pastor far less likely to “jump the fence” than one driven to success, too busy for others, who’s needs don’t get genuinely met in whole relationships. Far too many leaders fall into the second category, than the first. People are far too important to let that continue.

Imago Deo aka Eikon aka Image of God

I remember when Steven Spielberg’s AI came out a several years ago. It pretty much tanked at the box office, but it was a bold effort to explore a fascination that mankind has had for years; can man recreate himself? Not procreate, but fabricate. Can he replicate emotion, thought and soul? If this is possible then the whole issue of humanity is shaken. At least that has been the controversy.

But I think man’s attempts at self genesis go deeper than that. Human efforts at trying to create artificial intelligence/life are not an expression of his humanity, but of his divinity, or at least the divinity in him.

Genesis states that man was created in the image of God. That means that we are the reflection of the almighty. Everything about us exudes our origins. And that reflection is not just in God followers, but all of mankind is Imago Deo, the image of God. In the Greek, it’s Eikon, where we get our word icon. From our physical appearance to our free will, we look like our creator. The problem is that we have lost the resemblance in the reflection.

Romans tells us that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We tend to look at this as an external failure to reach the standards of Heaven, but I think it’s more than that. This is an internal falling short. We have lost the glory within; the glory of God reflected as it was meant to be reflected in His Eikons.

The more we loose the true image, the more we try ways to imitate it. Those attempts are what the Bible calls sin. Why is sin so heinous to God? Not because it is a violation of the law. Because when we sin, act contrary to our true selves, we abuse our relationship to God and we make the image of God a vessel of corruption.

The Iconoclast

Satan would love nothing more than to shatter the image of God in us. In the early 700’s, Byzentine emperor Leo III began destroying religious images in opposition to the Catholic church. Hoping to eliminate idolatry, he laid some of the seeds that were carried on through the protestant reformation. Mankind’s attempts at image making were just evidence of his lack of image bearing. And though the worship of graven icons is wrong, I think our eradication of so much symbol has proliferated our decline of divine expression and our further failure to identify the image of God in us.

Having lost the status as image bearers, we try to regain our sense of superiority by pointing out the failures of humanity. But, our job is not to call out the imperfections in society. Our job is to call out the image of God in those around us. Better yet, to restore the infusion of God into the image of God.

Jesus is the true reflection of the image of God in man. Restoration comes when we receive Christ and the image of God in us is returned. Salvation is not being saved from sin. It‘s being restored to our original condition.

Eternity in their hearts.

In Romans 1 Paul talks about man being aware of God through creation. We assume that means that he can see it around him. I think it’s not about what is around him, but what is in him. We do not have a God shaped vacuum inside us needing to be filled; we are the God shaped vacuum waiting to be indwelled. Man is the image of God that lacks the essence of God.

When people find wholeness through life in Christ, what was an imperfect, incomplete and indifferent existence becomes the epitome of creation; the man-God connection. When people live life indwelled by God then creations finds its meaning, people find their purpose and God finds His fulfillment. And when that happens, you can forget AI. What man will be capable of is nothing less than divine and yet so much more than the image of God, he will be the very expression of God on Earth.

A lack of commitment?

I was emailed an article about the lack of commitment among Americans. It showed statistics that pointed to a diminishing sense of personal responsibility toward church. The report talked about a desire for spirituality, but not for connection to a local church.

So here is my question. Is the problem with the people or the church? It’s kind of like reading statistics about the lack of desire for education in the country. Is that the problem of the people or the educational system? It’s sure a question worth exploring? If people are not interested in a committed relationship to Christ, then what do they think that relationship entails? Are we (churches) communicating the life changing, personally transforming, spiritually empowering, grace showering, love giving life in Christ that people can have? Or do they see the gay bashing, Muslim hating, right wing leaning, isolationists who demand the world be just like them? Again, I am not talking about Bethany, but the universal church. We are an increasingly post-modern, post-Christian culture. Europe has been this way for years because of the more prevalent atrocities they have seen in the name of God. I think it’s time we gave the world a picture of God that is true to who He is.

I am not worried about people being committed to the church. It’s an institution in this country. I want people committed to Christ and His body. How that looks is going to drastically change in the next few years. We may be in a post-church age, but I think people are deeply longing for a spiritual connection. I want to show them what a true connection to God looks like. Not something adorned with traditional trappings, but saturated in transformation experiences.

Sorry for the ravings. I am fresh off of reading about sacred cows and spiritually dead churches. My feelings are a little raw.

God speaks culturally

I've been reading Act's chapter 2 recently and as I was reading it something occurred to me. I have always looked at it as the model text for the church. Teaching, meeting needs and fellowship; the pillars of a growing body of believers. But as I reviewed the text, what stood out to me was not the model for the church, but the response of the people as the disciples began to teach prior to the formation of the church. There were many different cultures represented there and as the disciples began to speak, all of them heard truth in their own language. And they were blown away.

What made the church so successful and grow by great numbers that day was it's ability to bridge the cultural gap and speak everyone’s language. Suddenly, there was a multicultural, multiethnic congregation and a diversity that never existed before in history. Up until the time of Christ, God followers were primarily Jewish and any that claimed to follow God that were not Jewish, did not associate with Israel.

Overnight the followers of God took on a new face, the face of the people. And ministry was redefined in a moment. How things were done in the past would not work anymore. Church as they knew it needed to change.

So much of the New Testament teaching is culturally based and yet so much of our methodology for church programming springs from the pages of this book. What Paul was laying out for the church in His epistles was not explaining how Old Testament teachings applied to that day. It was new paradigms for life and ministry. Judaism was passing away and Christianity was being birthed.

I believe that we are in an age of new paradigms and as in Paul’s day, it's hard for the church to embrace new. New is dangerous. New is confusing. New doesn't fit the mold.

Well, I think it's time to break the mold. In fact, I think the church is a little moldy as well. Every once in a while we scrape of the old stuff and say it's fresh again.

It's time to start from scratch and create a movement of God that speaks the language of our culture and then watch the world marvel at hearing God's voice in its own tongue for the first time again. Then and only then can we begin to create a thing called the church as it will be determined by the culture and the culture will give it a new name, in it’s own tongue, that describes the what it sees…people who live like Christ.

Wikipedia needs a new submission

I recently taught a study in our home about redefining sucess. In the process, I came up with a word that I couldn't find in the dictionary. Redependence, the choice of aligning ourselves with our original design of dependence on God.

God created us to be fully united with Him, but we became independent and then codependent and now we need to be redependent on Him.

You see, dependence is an interesting word. Webster defines dependent as determined by. God wants us to do nothing apart from Him and He wants us to do His will. Where as independence is our desire to do things on our own. Our problem is that we were created for dependency and so we seek it out in disfunctional ways like codependence where we enable others in unhealthy ways so we are needed. But God wants us to draw everything we need from Him. Because He is everything we need.

I don't like to need. In the worst of circumstances, I will consider interdependence, but dependence bites. I like to entertain thoughts that God may need me. Then I can accept an interdependent connection. But God doesn't need me, He just chooses to use me.

So can I live with me needing God? Because that is what I was created for. And that God would choose to use me? Becasue that is what He created ma for. Sound like a perfect fit. It's time for my redependence.

Christianity: Open Source or SDK

No, it’s not Spielberg, DeLorien, Katzman. It’s Software Developement Kit. When someone writes a program for a computer, they typically compile it into a version that can be distributed without the ability to change it. That way they can support it because all of the distributed copies are the same. The advantage is consistency; the disadvantage is that it cannot be changed to fit various uses.

There are some programs out there that are called “open source” which means that all of the code is able to be changed. The advantage is that if it has any problems, you can fix it yourself and even improve on it. The disadvantage is that the author cannot support it because it is constantly changed by others and redistributed.

The alternative is to have a SDK. The writer leaves certain areas open for change and the SDK enables you to make some changes, but not to the core program. This offers the advantage of consistency with the core program while allowing flexibility in its application.

Christianity is not truly open source. We cannot change the code or improve on it. Scripture is absolute, but it is a lot more open in its application than most would like to admit. Many people are under the assumption that the church as it exists in North America, is a closed source licensed version that is trademarked and if you don’t do it that way, then you are doing it wrong. The truth is that how the church functions is about as open source as it comes.

Now apply this idea to Christianity. It was not meant to be carbon copied or cloned. God gave us the code, that was compiled, but he gave us the developers kit, via the Holy Spirit, to help us adapt it to our generation and culture.

God followers in Haiti do not practice their faith the same way we do in the US. Believers in Nepal connect with God different from those in Uzbekistan. We are in a new era of the church from that of 1500 years ago. We desperately need the Holy Spirit SDK to help us find ways to adapt our lives to function with the source code of Scripture.

Vision for Sale

I am working with my leadership team to develop mission and vision for our group. While preparing for our next meeting, I did some research on the internet. As I was reading an article explaining the difference between mission and vision, I came across a link at the bottom of the page that made me laugh out loud. It said,

Church Mission Statements
Shop on Ebay and Save! Discount Church Mission Statements.

When you click the link, it takes you to a generic Ebay page of various items relating to mission statements. Nothing about churches.

But it did get me thinking about all of the churches that do copy or "borrow" other church vision and mission statements because they sound great. Most are taken from mega churches and “tailored” to fit their situation.

But aren't they missing the point? Isn't a vision and mission something that is unique to every church. We are not all to have the same statements, because we are not all the same church.

I mean yes, we are all to love God and love people. But come on, that's so bland and lifeless. The Apostles were called to proclaim the truth to all men, but Paul was called to the Gentiles, Peter to the Jews. They had different targets, but the same end.

We don't need more church franchises, we need more specialty churches. Churches with unique targets to address the needs no other church can meet. When will we begin to see the open source Christianity God intended? He gave us the code; we just need to adapt it to our context.

My vision is to see churches embrace their peculiar identities and embark on journeys into spiritual renewal of global proportions where their visions are realized and missions accomplished through focused attention to their God directive. No plagiarized visions or purchased missions. Each one as unique as the people in them. That's my vision and I'm stickin' to it.

It's not what you know (Part 3 of 3)

So how do we fix the relational dysfunction in the church today? I know that it’s far easier to analyze and criticize and that I run the risk of both if I don’t offer some kind of solution. And the good news is that I think there is one.

Suppose you were God and you had a relational problem with mankind. The two of you weren’t connecting well and you wanted to change that. What would you do? What is a way you could reestablish relationship that would speak volumes to mankind? Do you see where I am going?

Now suppose there was a relational problem with Christians and unbelievers. The two of you were not connecting well. What would you do? How do you effectively establish relational ties with unbelievers? Have you made the connection yet?

To assume that someone will come into a foreign building filled with relationally dysfunctional people and be bombarded with propositional truth in the hopes that they will change their views about God is about as good an odds as playing the slots in Vegas and winning the first time around.

But, if we shed the spiritual suit and take on the form of an unbeliever to reestablish relationship, then we are a lot closer to God’s original plan than we are now. But it’s about relationship. Talking at people rarely works. Talking with people means that the conversation flows both ways.

They say in business it’s more about who you know that what you know. What if we looked at life with that perspective? Forget everything you know. Who do you know? How many people do you know? Who do you really know? And does anybody know you?

The church in the 20^th century has been about being right. Great. We’re all right and everyone else is going to hell. Well, to hell with that. God is about relationship. Love is his language and his desire is to connect with his creation. God has not isolated himself from men. Men have isolated themselves from God and the church is helping to further that isolation. Truth does not bring people to God. People bring people to God.

It’s time we become the people who bring people to God. To do that we have to be in relationship with people. Less church, more relationships. Less programs, more connections. Less teaching, more interaction.

When we begin to model the way Christ connected with people and build relational bridges, we will begin to see the kingdom of God take on a whole new meaning and find ourselves involved in relational situations that reflect the heart of God for others. And then we will fulfill the calling of God to be the Body of Christ and truly live out the truth that it is not what you know, but who you know that makes all of the difference.

It's not what you know (Part 2of 3)

Relationally dysfunctional people are the wrong ones to lead the church into the new era and many many pastors are relationally dysfunctional. In the past, a good Bible teacher was sufficient to build a church around. Knowledge was king and people who were good at Bible knowledge could grow a church.

The new era of the church is about community. It’s about discipleship the way Jesus did it; in the context of life. Today’s seekers are not looking for more information. The information age is fading with the modern age. People today are looking for relationships that are genuine and life lessons that are taught OTJ and not in a sanctuary.

Unfortunately, many churches are trying to “do” relationships through having small group programs to “meet that need.” “Doing” small groups in a church is not relationship. It’s the equivalent to putting a cat, a dog, a monkey and a dolphin all in the same room and assuming that they will all relate well together because they are mammals. They don’t know the first thing about how to communicate with each other. People are the same way. People don’t know good relationship skills because they don’t have good relationships. The church lectures about the need for small groups, but does not model it well.

Christ’s model of multiplication was not lecture, but life. His method of Christian growth training was not rhetoric, but relationship. Christ’s classroom was the community, not the temple.

We have institutionalized a faith that was meant to be lived outside the walls of religion. We have organized people into categories and then we artificially put them in small gatherings and expect them to connect. Small groups breaks down the larger dysfunction, but does not fix it. In the next installment, I will address the solution.

It's not what you know (Part 1of 3)

Is it possible that we spend too much time seeking connection with God and not enough time seeking connection with people? Can we be too often “alone with God” and miss the whole point for why he came? In some ways it’s easier to “spend time” with God than is it to “spend time” with others. People are messy. They don’t always respond well and they require something of me. Having a relationship with people requires work.

And if we have to have relationships with people, then it’s a lot easier to have them with other “church” people than to spend time with outsiders. Outsiders don’t talk our talk and sometimes they do inappropriate things. It’s not easy have a relationship with others.

Relationship is the foundation of the truth of God. Look at the amount of time Christ spent alone with the Father as opposed to with people. His relationship to the Father was essential, but his relationships with people took the vast majority of the time. If Christ is our model for life, then we need more time with people. But we fear it, because we don’t do relationship well.

We lack good relational skills because we are not in good relationships. It sounds like a catch 22 and it kind of is. To learn good relationships, there has to be a combination of learning and practice. It‘s the practice work that gets neglected.

The church has built itself on Bible teaching, program facilitation and building campaigns. We have compartmentalized our social lives and segregated our relationships or neglected them altogether. We are a relationally dysfunctional people who desperately need others.

Righteous indignation at my unrighteousness

I'm tired of being angry with everyone else. I am constantly mad at idiotic drivers, armchair theologians, fundamentalist assholes and well meaning people who do stupid things.

So I’m at Catalyst this year (http://www.catalystconference.com) and Bill Hybels gets up to talk. I have both despised and revered this man for decades. I hate him because his church is bigger than mine. I revere at him because his church is bigger than mine.

Well, he gets up to speak and I am humbled beyond belief. He begins to reflect on the journey he has been on for 30 years and takes no credit for the success, but marvels at God’s grace.

In the midst of it he says something powerful. Besides telling 9000 church leaders that they are screwed up and that they need professional therapy (dude, I wish I had the guts to do that and receive it as well), he says that the emergent church generation is angry and needs to deal with it.

Me, angry, hell no! Do you ever have one of those moments where you hear something and you immediately react with incredulity and then something pierces you to the core and you know in your heart of hearts that they are right? I hate it when that happens. And it happened with Bill. Hit me right between the eyes. I’m angry. But it’s not all bad.

I’m mad because I feel like I am cleaning up after a mess someone else made of Christianity. I’m mad because in some ways the Church has oversold itself and undersold God. I’m mad because the world is mad at me and I didn’t do anything. I’m mad because I was told that right theology and right living were the answer and it’s not. Jesus is the answer and his theology and way of living don’t always work in the church. And I’m mad because I am tired of being mad.

So I am saying I am sorry for being mad. Sorry to the pastors and church leaders. Sorry to the world and those who misunderstand me. Sorry to the body of Christ and to God. Forgive me for my impatience and self centered thinking. I want to be more like Christ and look with Heavens eyes at everyone around me.

Today I choose love. And the next time someone crosses me, I won’t be angry. I’ll just beat the ever livin’ crap out of them and go in peace. And I won’t be angry anymore.

Why can't we all just get along or should we?

I had a recent email exchange over one of those forwarded, “Send this to all of your friends if you are a REAL Christian,” kinds of emails. I don’t fault people who send these out. At least they believe in something and are doing something about it. I do get frustrated about the lack of personal research and thought out belief behind the emails.

Below is the original email and the exchange that follows. Read it and then I will comment below.

******************************************

Subject: Fw: [Fwd: Fw: She really was a traitor]

I understand the politics of the time and I understand forgivness, but some things should not be forgotten, especially when so many of the folks she hurt and betrayed are still here and suffering.

She really was a traitor

A TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONORED KEEP THIS MOVING ACROSS AMERICA

This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do not remember, and didn't have to bear the burden that our fathers, mothers and older brothers and sisters had to bear.

Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the "100 Women of the Century."

BY BARBRA WALTERS

Unfortunately, many have forgotten and still countless others have never known how Ms. Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country, but specific men who served and sacrificed during Vietnam.

The first part of this is from an F-4E pilot

The pilot's name is Jerry Driscoll, a River Rat.

In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAF Survival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prison the "Hanoi Hilton."

Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell, cleaned, fed, and dressed in clean PJ's, he was ordered to describe for a visiting American "Peace Activist" the "lenient and humane treatment" he'd received.

He spat at Ms. Fonda, was clubbed, and was dragged away. During the subsequent beating, he fell forward on to the camp Commandant's feet, which sent that officer berserk.

In 1978, the Air Force Colonel still suffered from double vision (which permanently ended his flying career) from the Commandant's frenzied application of a wooden baton.

From 1963-65, Col. Larry Carrigan was in the 47FW/DO (F-4E's). He spent 6 years in the "Hanoi Hilton",,, the first three of which his family only knew he was "missing in action". His wife lived on faith that he was still alive. His group, too, got the cleaned-up, fed and clothed routine in preparation for a "peace delegation" visit. They, however, had time and devised a plan to get word to the world that they were alive and still survived. Each man secreted a tiny piece of paper, with his Social Security Number on it, in the palm of his hand.

When paraded before Ms. Fonda and a cameraman, she walked the line, shaking each man's hand and asking little encouraging snippets like: "Aren't you sorry you bombed babies?" and "Are you grateful for the humane treatment from your benevolent captors?" Believing this HAD to be an act, they each palmed her their sliver of paper. She took them all without missing a beat. At the end of the line and once the camera stopped rolling, to the shocked disbelief of the POWs, she turned to the officer in charge and handed him all the little pieces of paper.

Three men died from the subsequent beatings. Colonel Carrigan was almost number four but he survived, which is the only reason we know of her actions that day.

I was a civilian economic development advisor in Vietnam, and was captured by the North Vietnamese communists in South Vietnam in 1968, and held prisoner for over 5 years.

I spent 27 months in solitary confinement; one year in a cage in Cambodia; and one year in a "black box" in Hanoi. My North Vietnamese captors deliberately poisoned and murdered a female missionary, a nurse in a leprosarium in Ban me Thuot, South Vietnam, whom I buried in the jungle near the Cambodian border. At one time, I weighed only about 90 lbs. (My normal weight is 170 lbs.)

We were Jane Fonda's "war criminals."

When Jane Fonda was in Hanoi, I was asked by the camp communist political officer if I would be willing to meet with her.

I said yes, for I wanted to tell her about the real treatment we POWs received... and how different it was from the treatment purported by the North Vietnamese, and parroted by her as "humane and lenient."

Because of this, I spent three days on a rocky floor on my knees, with my arms outstretched with a large steel weights placed on my hands, and beaten with a bamboo cane.

I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fonda soon after I was released. I asked her if she would be willing to debate me on TV. She never did answer me.

These first-hand experiences do not exemplify someone who should be honored as part of "100 Years of Great Women." Lest we forget..." 100 Years of Great Women" should never include a traitor whose hands are covered with the blood of so many patriots.

There are few things I have strong visceral reactions to, but Hanoi Jane's participation in blatant treason, is one of them. Please take the time to forward to as many people as you possibly can. It will eventually end up on her computer and she needs to know that we will never forget. RONALD D. SAMPSON, CMSgt, USAF 716 Maintenance Squadron, Chief of Maintenance DSN: 875-6431 COMM: 883-6343

PLEASE HELP BY SENDING THIS TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK. IF ENOUGH PEOPLE SEE THIS MAYBE HER STATUS WILL CHANGE

My Response

There is no excusing her behavior in the past, but is it forgivable? As Christians, we are not Republicans or Patriots first. We are ambassadors of Christ and as such, his love and forgiveness is preeminent.

Should she apologize for her behavior? Personally, I think so. Should she be honored as one of the 100 Women of the Century? I don’t think so, but that is my opinion. If we knew the stories of some of the other women and men for that matter, few should be honored that are on those lists. But that’s politics.

But as a Christian, I don’t want to be known for my judgment of her. I want Jesus response to shine through. Remember the woman caught in adultery. Jesus bent down and wrote something in the sand and, knowing she was guilty, asked the person who had never done anything wrong to strike first. He did not excuse her behavior, and he did tell her to stop doing what she was doing, but his compassion was what changed her.

Is Jane guilty of treason? That’s a legal matter. Is what she did terrible? Absolutely. Should she be condemned? In the worlds eyes, maybe, but in God’s eyes she has no condemnation. Read below.

This was taken from truthorfiction.com, but there are numerous other websites that confirm and affirm it.

Summary of Rumor:
Jane Fonda is said to have "accepted Christ as her personal Savior" and is being helped in her new faith by Christians in the Atlanta area.

The Truth:
According to those who were close to Jane Fonda when she first made the decision to declare her Christianity 1n 1998, she was enthusiastic about her decision to become a Christian and was deeply affected by the Christians who were in her life at that time.
According to published articles, she was attending the Providence Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, an African-American church.
Fonda confirmed her Christian commitment and that she was attending the church in an interview in Oprah Winfrey's O magazine in 2000.
She had said very little about her faith until 2005 when she published her book, "My Life So Far."
In the book she said that when she turned 60 and began to deal with an eating disorder in her life, she also felt that something was missing and turned to Christianity.
She had not told her husband Ted Turner about becoming a Christian but when he learned of it, she says it was one of the factors that broke up their marriage.
She said that she knows it was not fair to keep the news of her faith from him, but that she was "...yearning for the spiritual that I had not had. And I knew that if I told him or asked him before I did it, that he would talk me out of it."
Turner is from a Christian background and even once considered becoming a missionary, but has been critical of Christianity and once called it "a religion for losers" but later apologized.
In her book, Fonda talks openly and passionately about her Christianity and how much it has meant to her but that like her life, her faith is still progressing.
When she made the decision to become a Christian it was within the context of Evangelical Christian friendships but in the book she avoids describing that event in detail.
She said she regards herself as a "feminist Christian" and is trying to reconcile that what she calls the "patriarchal, hierarchal structure" of Christianity.

His Reply

To Jim Wern,

Sorry just couldn’t let this one go by

I haven’t met you, but I have met some of the men from the Hanoi Hilton. Fonda’s Christian conversion has not stopped her from recent anti war – Anti American activities in Canada.

I believe the Gospel per forgiveness. I have taught it in men’s studies for years. You forgot about the repentance part. She has never apologized, repented, tried to right the wrongs, and is still at anti American activities per the press. Actions speak louder than words. Per your last sentence she is trying to structure a Christian response to her own feminist thinking rather than surrendering. –justifying her actions rather than confessing, repenting, and trying to restore the wrong. We all fall short of the glory etc. but she continues to battle on against America and our safety.

The law per treason is clear. The deaths and torture that she was personally responsible for are no less heinous than that of other monsters. Your response is what empowers her and her kind. She has never repented and is in fact still at it. Read the writings of Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Adams, If you don’t think we can be Americans—patriots etc. at the same time we are Christians. Standing up for right had better come from the church or the other side will dictate it. Look around you. If you don’t like what has become of your society perhaps you can examine the fall of the church from responsibility and decide to do something about it. This ain’t politics it is survival. The leader ship from the pulpits is gone. Corral Ridge ministries and a few others are in the fight. Where are you?. Our young are as corrupt as the world. There are no moral absolutes being taught. The social decay in the church is as bad as out of the church. Guess what the letter from Paul would be to your church—or mine.

Frankly I think your response is part of the problem from the wishy washy pulpit. If the pulpits rang with the righteous fervor and commitment of old you would not be dismissing and letting slide her atrocities. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

If she accepts the award per her past rather than turning it down and publicly repenting it will tell you more about her character and the left’s purpose for her. If she had been responsible for the torture of your brother or your child and all your neighbors children—and was at it again—would you not stop her and her handlers or would you quote out of context bible verses as you have done here? She accepted another award from the North Vietnamese while we were at war with them. Her picture along with John Kerry’s hangs in their war museum as North Vietnamese War heroes. Oh ya. Canada will probably honor her next.

The un-apologized for atrocities are bygones if you want to see it that way—(personally I think she should be brought to justice just as the Nazis post war criminals have been.)-- But her recent activities are again putting our sons and daughters in harms way again. If you think it is a legal matter only, or a politics matter only, ask the men who were and are there and their families.

All over the world your Christian brothers and their families are being put to death by Islamic fundamentalists. Whoa I said Islamic fundamentalists—those who believe in the fundamentals of the Muslim faith. We focus on the tiny percent of those who are the warriors of the fundamental Muslim faith and overlook the vast armies of people who support and condone their activities. Any one who claims to be a Muslim and follows the Koran has to believe that the infidels must convert or be put to the sword. Get it straight in your head that no matter what their political patter is still that is what the “peaceful” Muslims believe. It is a fundemental of their faith.

Do you or your church have a missionary out reach to Muslims? Of course not, that would be too scary. You would actually have to address the problem, acknowledge it, and put your self in harms way. I supported a man who studied to be a Muslim priest for years converted and became a Christian minister. !0 years ago he had a program on KPRZ called Evangelize Muslims Now. He was hunted threatened and finally driven into hiding by the Muslims. His own family in Ghana had to vow to kill him on sight or be put to death themselves. When he appealed to the Christian church for help and to teach them the fundamentals of the problem facing them---he was shunned. Today everything he was talking about has come to light, but the Christians are still ignoring what should be their battle ground—contending for the faith.

This is not live and let live. To them it is convert or die. It is not too late to get into the battle. I do believe that the only way to diffuse the problem is to evangelize Muslims. You can kill off their present army but you can’t change their belief with war. The church has to do that.

What if we don’t win the war on Islamic terrorism? You are dead and all your church will convert or be put to the sword. Get a clue what this is about and the enormity of it. Then focus and get to work. Physical battle is only part of the solution. Evangelizing is the permanent way and only the church can do that.

Are your ready to lead men into battle against that true and present danger? Or will you wishy wash it away while our young men die to keep the tide from washing over your community and family and mine. The battle is coming to you – it is in fact here -- in your neighborhood.

Ignoring the truth per Fonda and defending her while she still uses her celebrity status to put more of our young people and our whole society in harms way is just a dribbling symptom of the real problem. (What is there to celebrate about her that gives her Celebrity status—Think about it.) She is responsible for more murder and torture than Ted Bundy. That is the documented truth.

My second reply

Thanks for the thought out and passionate reply. So many of these responses and forwards are not thought out or considered for accuracy.

This came from Scott.

Great to hear about Jane Fonda. If it is true about her confessing Christ I find it even more interesting that this e-mail is a hoax. We are in a spiritual battle and I can't help but think that spreading these rumors about her are a part of Satan's strategy. There are parts of it that are true but there are significant parts that are not. Two of the three stories are denied by the named POW's including the SSN slips of paper, story. The source of the email is not known.

Please don’t mistake my lack of judgment toward Jane with a lack of feelings on the issue. I am not a war hater. I think the Vietnam vets were under appreciated for their service and justice against their captures is valid. I have a grandfather that was held in a Japanese concentration camp and almost tortured to death. My brother is a 20 veteran of the Air Force and I am happy to pay taxes to fund the defense of this country.

That being said, my faith and my nationalism are entirely separate. America can go to hell in a hand basket on the wheels of politics, but my faith will not go down with it. Our country may have been founded by people who professed a faith in God, but the only thing my faith and their faith have in common is that we both believe in the God of the Bible. I do not have an American faith or a capitalist faith, or a democratic faith. I am a God follower, an abider in Christ, and a Holy Spirit led Christian.

I believe that our problem is not wishy washy preaching, (this coming from a man who has an MDiv. from Masters Seminary), but preachers who have separated themselves in their ivory pulpits and hid behind theology (not truth) instead of embracing God’s mandate to love Him and love people. It’s a lot easier to judge a Muslim than to love them. The only people Christ ever condemned were the self righteous religious leaders. All others he showed compassion and love.

As for evangelizing Muslims, as a matter of fact, I do support a couple of missionaries. Ikbal and Kundan Massey. They have an incredible outreach to Muslims. In fact Ikbal is reaching out my providing child care for a temple. Should she show love to these children or tell them they are going to hell?

I agree there is a battle going on. But as Paul said, our battle is not against flesh and blood. We need to be on our knees. We need to be asking God what He wants us to do. We need to be repenting of the atrocities done in the name of Christ that Christ would never put his name to (the Crusades, the Nazi concentration camps, gay killings, abortion clinic bombings) and be vigilant about showing the world the true face of Christ, one beaten and bruised for our sins with arms of love outstretched on a cross. I believe scripture tells us that it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance, not wrath against evil.

And you mentioned repentance. I think it would be great if Jane came out and said that she was wrong. Is it a requirement for salvation? I don’t think you are prepared to have that theological debate. Nor would I spend time haggling that issue with you, because frankly, I don’t want to waste my time with someone who is already in the kingdom. I would much rather spend my time telling someone about a God who loves them. In fact, I have to go. I have a neighbor I have been spending time with, that has just started opening up about life and family and spirituality. I think it would be a better steward of my time to be God’s ambassador of hope to him.

I could sit here and argue morality and politics and war, but the truth is I don’t know of anyone who has ever come to Christ because we created a law against homosexuals or because we put a Christian in the Whitehouse or fought a war against terrorism, but I know of many people who have found Christ in a gay relationship because someone loved them enough to be their friend and share Gods love. I know of others who, under communist governments, received Christ through rogue ministries. There have even been some who have been Christ to their enemies in war torn countries. It’s high time we stopped promoting the cause of democracy, which will never save anyone, and live the love of God.

Would I die for my country? Yes I would and you can ask the people that know me. I am glad I live in America. I will be happy to pay my taxes till they stop taxing me, but I would much rather die for the cause of one person finding Christ. I echo the words of Paul, for me to live is Christ, to die, well…that’s Heaven.

You have more passion than most Christians I know. Don’t loose that. God took a fireball named Paul and turned the Gentile world toward Christ. But make sure you are passionate about the right things. I would hate to see this kind of energy wasted on issues that do not have an eternal pay off. Please don’t let my passion kill yours, but let the two feed each other as iron sharpens iron and let’s take it to the streets where people are looking for a passionate God who loves them deeply and wants them wholly as His children. Let’s burn for Him so others won’t burn without Him.

Love in Christ,

Jim Wern
God Follower
www.spiritualtraveler.blogspot.com

Now my concluding thoughts.

I like this guy. Don’t tell him I said that. He might take offence. But we are on the same side. We both want to share Christ with the world. We may have two radically different ways of doing it, but we want the same thing.

So how do we stop fighting each other and start addressing the real problem. That problem being that Christians have lost their influence in society because we are perceived as radical, right wing, extremists that are clueless and judgmental and loveless. The funny thing is that Jesus was just the opposite (except for radical). He was a cultural reshaper, an educated thinker, a people lover and compassion giver. Show me someone like that today and I will show you someone that people will follow and listen to.

Am I asking too much or not enough? Maybe the question is not “why can’t we all just get along,” and instead should be “how can we catalyze Christ in each other?” Our encounters with the body of Christ should energize the work of the Spirit in each of us. We should be like allies on the field of battle. Different armies in a common war. Different orders, same enemy. I don’t care if you subscribe to the Bible Answer Man, John MacArthur, Andy Stanley, Erwin McManus, Rick Warren or Bill Hybels, we are all on the same side.

First, Paul did have something to say about positioning yourself behind a certain leader. “I am of Paul, I am of Apollos, I am of Peter.” We are of Christ. But it’s not their faults. They would not want people to follow them. They would point to Christ. It’s us who are guilty of man following. Maybe if we did less of it and more of God following, we might actually get somewhere.

Well, enough ranting. I think there needs to be a little less talk and a lot more action. Now I need to go ask God if I need to repent of anything I said and see if there was anything He wanted to say.

Epitaphs and Eulogies are too late

I am getting ready to do a memorial service for a friends mother and I got to thinking, “epitaphs and eulogies are too late.” They usually say such wonderful things about people after they are dead. We should have a place where people can say nice things about others before they are dead. I thought about creating a website “livingeulogies.com” and let people write their thoughts down before their loved ones die.

I have already started writing my wife’s. I keep it on my Palm Pilot and I add to it every time I think of something I love about her. After thinking about it, it dawned on me that I should share it with her now. So here it is. Hopefully it will inspire you to do the same for those you love.

An Incredible Woman
I have the privilege of being married to the most incredible woman that ever lived on earth. She hears the voice of God and longs for His presence. Her life is an expression of her Maker and she values His presence in others. For her, doing the "right" thing has little to do with political correctness or situational appropriateness. For her, it is always about what God is speaking in the moment. She breathes and bleeds the grace of God. Her heart is bigger than one life can express and she feels deeper than one life can handle. She is an empath and a maverick. She will get inside your heart and never let go. Don't bother asking her for her political views, you won't get the time of day. But talk to her about heart and soul and you'd better be prepared to stay a while. While her unconventional methodology may go against the grain of conservative, fundamental thinking, at the core of all she does is a God who lives outside the box. And where He is, is where she wants to be. I am in love with a woman I can't contain, nor do I want to. She is the epitome of my greatest hero's and the axis of me deepest desires.

Maybe I should start writing my own. That way I have some idea of what people will say about me after I die.

Jim